Embracing the Shadow
Stuck in old patterns in your relationships?
..or in your career, diet, friendships, etc.?
This powerful somatic meditation will turn your world upside down.
Keep reading…
About Shadow Work
This shadow meditation draws from Jungian psychology, Buddhist practices (“Feeding Your Demons”), and the work of Carolyn Elliott.
It’s ridiculously powerful — especially if you make it a regular practice — but it only takes 20-or-so minutes.
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Basically, you’ll be working to shift old patterns caused by our “shadow” as described by Carl Jung.
Jungian therapy describes the shadow as anything that we repress, disown, or deny. The shadow often works against our conscious intentions because it wants something that we’re not consciously aware of — something contradictory to what we say we want.
When we embrace our shadow, remarkable things happen…
“This is weird. Why do it?”
Behaviors driven by our shadow cause us suffering. By reframing our shadow and re-experiencing those behaviors, we unlock freedom to do something different.
The goal is to be a more complete, honest, transparent, empowered person — not to be perfect. The point of this exercise isn’t to get rid of the shadow; it’s to own it. To honor it. To make friends with the things that we’re afraid of.
How to Do This Shadow Practice
Do this when you’re alone, in an okay-mood (because this can be destabilizing), and have some private time to decompress after.
You can do this daily or a couple of times/week.
You’re about to call forth the emotions and sensations associated with a painful pattern so that you can enjoy them.
Yes, enjoy them.
If you didn’t enjoy them — on some level — you wouldn’t keep choosing them: the chronic lateness, the emotionally unavailable partner, the needless risk taking, binge eating, procrastination, etc…
…the things that result in humiliation, feelings of powerlessness, shame, the thrill of failure, anxiety, etc.
Please note: we’re not getting rid of these feelings! We’re actually embracing them, enjoying them, savoring them and giving them the space to be savored — as ours forever and ever.
It’s weird, yes. But it deeply reframes your existence.
The Step-by-Step
Identify a persistent situation in your life that your conscious mind (ego) does not like but your shadow secretly, perversely desires.
Get into a relaxed state. Do some breathing, yoga, a hot bath or cold shower — whatever centers you.
Then, create a “container” for this exercise.
Light a candle to let yourself know that something special is going on. Something profound is happening.
Make sure to set a timer (for 15 minutes) so that this exercise is time-bound and you can really drop in.
Lie down. Get comfortable. Close your eyes.
Identify exactly what emotions, feelings, and sensations you associate with this situation
Focus on feelings and sensations — not the story or facts
You can use bits of the story to call forth the feelings, but avoid going too far into the story
What are the sensations of anxiety? Or disappointment? Where do you find shame — in your legs, as a panicky watery sensation? Or as a queasiness in your neck? Is there clinching in your throat?
Abide with these sensations. Get curious. You don’t need to like the circumstances or story, but experiment with liking the sensations. Do you feel more alive because of them? Do you taste reality in a special way because of the pain?
Gently allow yourself to get in touch with the part of yourself that actually, passionately enjoys the emotions, feelings, and sensations associated with the situation you supposedly don’t like but keep choosing.
Experiment with saying:
I’m willing to stop pretending I don’t enjoy ______ tremendously.
I allow myself to know about my secret, weird pleasure in _____.
It’s okay for me to feel my forbidden enjoyment of ____ without having to judge it or disown it.
Experiment with being grateful for this situation — the so-called “problem” you’ve been envisioning! Embody the perspective of your shadow that feels alive with these sensations, loves dancing with this issue, and feels excitement, curiosity or enjoyment because of it.
When the timer goes off, the session is complete. Blow out the candle.
You can journal a little afterward if you feel inspired to do so.
Notes: You can also do this practice for a situation in the future that you haven’t experienced yet. When you imagine the discomfort of a situation in the future — and embrace that discomfort — the anxiety you may feel can lift.